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| Monday, July 20, 2026 |
Issue #9
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by meme.app
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It's Monday. Spain won the World Cup by making Argentina disappear for 117 minutes. The Muppets played the first halftime show in tournament history, and Wayne Rooney gave it zero stars. And a Giants running back, eight months removed from a broken leg, attempted a backflip at a merch convention. Let's get into it.
— Stew
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Spain Beats Argentina for the World Cup, and It Wasn't Close
Spain beat Argentina 1-0 in extra time Sunday at MetLife, and it wasn't as close as the score sounds. Argentina didn't attempt a shot until the 117th minute. The defending champs, with Messi on the field, went almost two full hours without kicking a ball toward the net. Emi Martinez made 11 saves at the other end, the most in any World Cup final, just to keep it 0-0 that long. Spain had the ball all game and eventually the dam broke.
Ferran Torres, a second-half sub, finally scored 39 seconds into the second period of extra time. Argentina woke up after that: Messi's first and only shot got blocked in the 117th, and Enzo Fernandez got a red card in the 123rd for a bad lunge on Pau Cubarsi. Messi afterward: “They were better, to be honest.” Hard to argue.
Cool stat: Spain gave up one goal the entire tournament. No World Cup winner has ever allowed fewer.
So what: Spain now holds the Euro and the World Cup at the same time, and their 2010 title was also a 1-0 extra-time final. This is just how they win these. For Messi, 39, that was almost certainly his last World Cup game. Rough ending, but there was no shame in this one. Spain is better than everyone right now.
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The first halftime show in World Cup history happened, and the reviews are in: rough. Full disclosure, I went for food and missed the whole thing, which reads like a mistake and turned out to be elite decision-making. What I missed: Madonna, BTS, Justin Bieber, Shakira, and the Muppets performing “Seven Nation Army” with an orchestra, all stretched across 27 minutes. The rulebook allows 15. FIFA breaking FIFA's own rules at FIFA's own party is honestly the purest expression of the sport. Wayne Rooney's review: “The best part was when it finished.” [ESPN] |
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The stands were the other show. Trump landed at MetLife on Marine One. The presidents of Mexico and Canada were both there too, so all three host countries sent management. Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Tom Cruise, Timothée Chalamet, Kylie Jenner, and both Beckhams were scattered around the boxes, and Matt Damon's wife showed up in Argentina stripes to watch her country not shoot. Soccer finally got its Super Bowl. The game even cooperated by being 0-0 for two hours. [SI] |
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Two days before the final, England beat France 6-4 in the third-place game, a matchup with less on the line than the Pop Tarts Bowl. At least the Pop Tarts Bowl winner gets to eat the mascot. Nobody defended for a second: England led 4-0 at halftime, France ripped off three straight, Bukayo Saka finished with a hat trick, and it ended as the highest-scoring World Cup game since 1982. Oh, and Mbappé scored twice to pass Messi as the all-time leading World Cup scorer, 22 to 21. The race I tracked all month ended in an exhibition neither team wanted to play. Fine. [Yahoo] |
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Zlatan retired from television after one tournament, undefeated. The breakout star of Fox's World Cup coverage was a 44-year-old Swede who had never done TV before and spent five weeks casually being the best studio analyst in America. People were comparing him to peak Barkley by the group stage. Then he signed off the final with “this is also my farewell to the studio,” thanked America, and left. Of course he did. Show up, dominate instantly, walk away before anyone adjusts. It's the same career he had as a striker. Somebody at Fox needs to back up a dump truck of money, because television without him goes back to being television. [Yahoo] |
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Ryan Fox won The Open with the best final hole of the golf year. The New Zealander birdied four of his last six at Royal Birkdale, then walked up 18 needing one more to avoid a playoff with Cam Young. He buried a 12-footer, just the fifth birdie that hole allowed all day, to win by one. Golf spends four days quietly building to one putt, and every so often the putt actually goes in. Somewhere Cam Young is replaying all 71 of his other holes. [Golf Channel] |
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Cam Skattebo, eight months removed from a gruesome broken leg, attempted a backflip at a merch convention. The VIDEO is worth your morning. The Giants running back under-rotated at Fanatics Fest on Saturday and crashed down directly on the surgically repaired ankle, in front of a crowd, on camera. He says he's “perfectly fine” and blamed the floor for being bouncy, which is a first: a backflip ruined by too much bounce. The best part is John Harbaugh already told him “no backflips” at minicamp, so Skattebo waited and did it at a trading-card convention instead, like a kid who found the loophole in mom's rules at dad's house. Training camp opens in days. He'll be there, presumably right side up. [VIDEO] |
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And Shedeur Sanders did a photo shoot standing on a lawn covered in his own jerseys. Dozens of Browns No. 12s laid out on the grass like sod, Shedeur posing on top, drone overhead. One detail he may have missed: he switched to No. 2 this offseason and the Browns gave 12 to rookie receiver Denzel Boston. So this is technically a man doing a luxury photo shoot on a bed of Denzel Boston jerseys. Rex Ryan is furious, fans are yelling about ego, and here's where I've landed: football season is so close I can smell it, and I am so starved that I watched a 14-second video of a quarterback standing on another man's merchandise six times. Week 1 cannot come fast enough. [Yahoo] |
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Father Time remains winless
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Brazilian Ronaldo, live from the final
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And finally, the most important image of the tournament
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Programming note: the World Cup is over, the trophy lives in Madrid, and the sports calendar is now baseball and training-camp hamstring reports until September. I'll make it work. I always do. See you next Monday.
— Stew
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